Day 7 of our trip to the Mediterranean was an at sea day. We passed between Albania and Italy which is something I never thought I’d get to say🤣and hey! Maybe I’ll actually be able to visit there someday now that I know about points and miles!

I reluctantly booked a massage for that morning because it was really expensive. But my mom and dad had given us an early birthday/anniversary/Christmas gift card for the ship so Jourdan encouraged me to go. It was mostly good and relaxing, definitely not the best massage I’ve ever had lol. And I was a bit sore afterwards (pretty par for the course for me).

It’s funny how your perception of an event can change over time. That morning after my massage, we had a meeting with the other leaders in the network marketing company I was there with and what I wrote at the time was that I was really excited about my place there and the direction of the company. 

But what I didn’t say (because I didn’t know how to voice at the time) was that something felt off. 

I’m really trying to figure out how to say this without coming across like a victim or dramatic, but honestly I felt like such an outsider the entire trip. We went on several excursions with company leaders and executives and the vibe felt really clique-y. I just felt really lonely after that meeting.

Maybe that was the beginning of the end for me, I’ll never know, but I do remember feeling discouraged.

It stormed for a bit that morning and someone on our ship got a pic of this water spout (we were inside at the time). Kinda crazy huh?

We spent the afternoon seeing an ice show (like WHAT?! An ice rink on a cruise ship?), reading and napping in the sun, I got my daily outside walk in (people watching on cruises is the actual best) and we went down the big water slides a couple times.

The last thing I want to do is come across ungrateful…or like I’m creating problems where there were none…being on that boat was surreal. I didn’t just win that trip, I worked my tail off to earn it, and it came at a time when I really needed it. And yet, my nervous system didn’t feel safe around some of the people there, and I ignored those red flags. 

Both can be true.

Looking back now, I see how that tension was part of what led me here, to a different dream. And while I feel some sadness reliving it, I also feel grateful for the door that closed — because the next day on this trip opened a brand new one.